This recent article on Japan Probe about Fake Wedding Ministers caught my eye. This is not a new thing in Japan but I have yet to witness one. I have read articles about it in the past. If I remember correctly, a piece was done on these White Weddings a few years back on Metropolis. I’ve also heard from other foreigners that they’d been invited to officiate some of these ceremonies. According to one foreign attendant, the ceremony was so odd: the center aisle was called a “virgin road” and the ceremony was conducted in English, which the bride and groom did not always understand.
This got me curious and so I asked people in my conversation classes about their wedding ceremonies. A lot of them did have Western ceremonies, saying it was a lot more fun preparing for. The brides wore several beautiful Western gowns, and grooms wore coat-tails and they even got to wear rings. But they continued on to say that they took these off as soon as the ceremony was over. Which I felt really made the whole ceremony more of a farce. It was really sad that they seemed to enjoy mocking Western wedding traditions.
Even the wedding chapels are built in a way that they resemble Gothic cathedrals, or pretty Mediterranean chapels. In almost every big city, they light these up at night - especially during the winter, and they are breath-taking, but knowing they are merely Japanese wedding chapels kind of ruins the view for me. But as my students and I talked more about wedding ceremonies, most of them said it was a really memorable experience, and mostly it was fun. Shinto ceremonies seemed more sacred and correct for them, but the Western ceremonies were full of excitement and joy, and so that’s why they chose them.
Hello again,
I spent two weeks in Japan in November with my Japanese wife. We were there to attend her father’s funeral and visit relatives.
The ceremony took place in a Buddhist Temple. I attended and learned how to sit quietly while the monk chanted. As a Christian I was curios to know about their beliefs. I was not surprised that my relatives didn’t really know why they preform ceremonies as they do.
I asked the monk some simple questions about the ceremony and his answer was, “I don’t know we just have always done it that way.
I was impressed to find out later on that my wife use to babysit the monk when he was a little boy.
I like your blog.
Keep checking out mine when you have time. Leave a message when you feel like it.
Thanks for commenting, Rigg!
Yes, I know it’s sometimes like that. They often can’t explain something about why they do things, especially to foreigners. I find that sometimes it’s not that they can’t say it in English, but can’t explain because of lack of knowledge of their culture or history. But then I guess in some cultures that can also happen.
Thank you for saying so! And yes, I will visit your site soon and often, too.
Hello again Marie,
My wife grew up in Japan and lived there until she was twenty. Even now when we go back and visit the attitude is deeply ingrained when the locals talk about spiritual matters.
One example is the layout in their houses. You have the Shinto in one corner, the Buddhist Alter in the middle of the wall, then you can see Elvis in between with Mickey Mouse in the other corner.
I can’t say this doesn’t happen in the U.S. But it all seem s a little vacuous in Japan. My wife sees it as well. The spiritual, the emotional, even the intellectual has a shallowness to it.
Emiko, my wife, has read many books on this cultural phenomenon and they all seem to put a lot of responsibility on the results of WWII and the years of occupation and reeducation.
Before the war the Emperor and the Empire sort of filled that spot. The loss of these icons and price in them left a hole. I could go on, but others have written books on this subject.
One book she really likes and believes tells the truth about Japan was written by a Korean man named Kim Wansop, the English titled is, “Excuse For Pro-Japanese”. I am not sure you can find it in English; We have the Japanese version. You might want to check it out.
Keep writing,
God Bless.
Thank you so much for commenting and sharing some thoughts, Rigg!
That’s very interesting… I’ll definitely look into it, and hopefully one day blog about it on this site…
A few friends have told me about their Shinto altars then their Buddhist alcoves and it always fascinates me, traditions here in Japan seem very complicated. I’d like to really learn more about these things, even if only to blog about them later.
I’ll look around for that book, it sounds like something I really have to own and read and study… Thanks so much! I appreciate all the info…
Hello Marie. I was very interested to read your blog about Christian style weddings. But what exactly makes you think they were mocking western traditions? I’d love to hear your opinion.
Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment, Jim!
Your question is very interesting… I can’t give you a very objective answer, however, because my reason is personal. Like I would never take off my wedding ring, especially if I were still married to my husband. But everyone in that class I was talking about laughed and said… it has no meaning in Japan anyway. Even when I asked why they were laughing, they answered… “It’s a Western tradition, not a Japanese one.” It just felt wrong… why put on the ring in the first place?
But I guess my observations make it sound like I’m mocking them mocking Western traditions… which I’m trying very hard not to do
Thank you for your reply. I find the White Wedding business in Japan to be fascinating. I am a Christian (in Japan) and I have yet to form clear views about the whole thing. Thank you again. (I wouldn’t take my ring off either!)
Keep on blogging!
Jim
Thanks for replying, too, Jim!
I am also Christian and that’s where my bias was, I guess…
But hey, I also go to shrines, buy omikuji, carry an omamori with me. Living here is just one long journey of learning, adapting and accepting. I hope my views didn’t affect you negatively, though…