Several guys I work with have married their wives in their home countries but have come to Nippon to live indefinitely. They all give the same reason for leaving their jobs and starting a new adventure here in Nippon: their wives have aging parents and they want to help out with the family business or farm, but mostly they want to be close to their family.
Japanese daughters are all expected to live close to home. While many young Japanese women have chosen to embark on careers, and even work abroad, they still make the customary trip back home as often as they can. A lot even take care of their parents indirectly, as can be seen in this article.
There is a Japanese saying that goes like this, good daughters should live close enough that when they take a bowl of miso soup to their parents, it should still be warm. It got me thinking about all the Japanese girls I know. While still single, they still generally live with their parents. The only real move they make is from their parents’ home to their shared home with their husbands. It’s a general viewpoint in a lot of Asian countries, too, I heard.
I really think Japan has done well to keep their traditions intact. But when I come across articles like this one about adult children sponging off of their parents, I often wonder if maybe sometimes it’s a little too much…
Ouch!
Sorry! Didn’t mean to tread on any toes. Maybe I’m a wee bit jealous that’s why…
Thanks for commenting, edward!
LOL the average age for leaving your parents home in Italy was around 30 … when asked girls said it was for economical issues (they don’t pay the rent) … but boys simply told : “Who loves you more than your mother?”
Why should girl live near theirparents? and why not the boys? What about parents that only have sons?
If we take your “miso-soup condition”, with the use of a good thermos bottle and a Concorde plane (admiting it would be used again) a japanese girl could live in Europe, no problem! Only question is : you don’t have the ingredients in Europe to cook a good miso soup for your parents.
Very valid points there, simaldeff!
I would actually still be living at home if I were back home. It would not only be more convenient, I would really want to be with my family.
Actually, there was an article that I was hoping to link to, one far more outrageous than the one I linked. It was about senior citizen children living with their senior citizen parents in Japan, and the children were still sponging off of their parents. I couldn’t find it anymore though! I saw it on Asian Offbeat a few months ago, but couldn’t seem to find it again. If I find it, I’ll link to it here.
Neat blog–For more on Japanese culture, visit: http://www.thoughts.com/Pocki/blog
more older japanese women are marrying gaijin and by default Japan is getting more mixed
http://japansugoi.com/wordpress/japan-becoming-a-more-mixed-society/
I don’t know about the traditional of DAUGHTERS coming back to take care of their parents. It’s generally assumed that the oldest son has this obligation.
When women are pregnant, though, I notice that there is a tradition that they spend a lot of time during the pregnancy at their original home.
Definately a strange observation. As an American living in Japan, I was definitely shocked at the amount of ‘Parasite singles’ in Japan. However, It makes complete financial sense its just a cultural difference, I suppose.
Voli Dublino thinks you are right!
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while living with your parents considered parasiting, i believe in a dense country such as japan it could ease the housing problems, and taking care of your aging parents is a nice thing too.
thanks for the interesting info