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My Memoirs of Japan

I decided to log in to Japan Q&A today after (too) many months. It’s been so long that I couldn’t even remember some of my posts. So, as you can imagine, I was surprised to see all the inspiring comments readers have posted in my absence. I was truly touched, thank you.

For almost one year – probably one of the most difficult years of my life – I wrote blogs about Japan, my life here, my experiences, and my insights. I posted mostly for myself, to give myself a positive outlet for feelings I was not ready to deal with. When I grew healthy in mind and body, I left my blog behind, a beautiful reminder of how I was able to move on.


But, I have yet to share the most meaningful experiences I’ve had here in Japan, and the most interesting observations I’ve made. Something I had not realized up until this moment was that, by keeping this blog I was able to piece together memoirs of a Japan that I see only through my eyes and that exists only in my mind.

Someday I’d like to write a book, maybe a tale. A coming of age story of a girl who slowly discovers Japan, compares the culture to her own, but instead of contrasting the two, she learns to love both. Let me write about my experiences once again, to piece together the plot for this story. I no longer need a creative outlet for unspent energy, but I do need to remember the unending joy, the loneliness, and even the fear that I have experienced while living in Japan.

My Japanese Nightmare

I work in a small but steadily growing company not too far from the center of Tokyo. The job was originally ideal for me: fixed hours that started not too early in the day, abundant holidays, a nice annual bonus, and a great working location. I quietly but quickly moved up the ladder from being a trainee to being a senior staff member. I did the job well, worked tirelessly on improving on all aspects of my work while enjoying almost every minute of it. The longer I worked on the job, the better I got at it or so it seemed. My reputation quickly escalated, my creativity soared, and I received the recognition I reluctantly thought I deserved: the position of 正社員 (せいしゃいん, or welfare worker) .

Fight!

Fight!

Working many years as a foreigner in Japan often makes you wonder why there is a huge divide between Japanese and foreign staff members. There was a time I was curious to know what it would be like to be accepted as a member of the Japanese team, what kind of treatment I would get or if being given a permanent job would improve my work attitude. I should have just kept on dreaming…

Now that I look back a year on it, I wonder if all the hard work I did just to get this very much coveted position was all worth it: a world of competition, jealousy, intrigue and self-worthlessness. The hours of fun working time slowly turned into piles of paperwork, endless hours of it’s-all-just-over-my-head meetings, and incessant phone ringing. In the end, I stand a tired employee, too burned out to fulfill my dream of working permanently at a Japanese company.

Was it all just a dream? Or did I slip unknowingly into the dark abyss of a Japanese nightmare?

Blogger’s Disclaimer: The reality doesn’t even come close to mildly exciting so I had to spice up my post to make it more dramatic and somewhat a little more reaction-worthy. Cheers!

Good Japanese Daughters

Several guys I work with have married their wives in their home countries but have come to Nippon to live indefinitely. They all give the same reason for leaving their jobs and starting a new adventure here in Nippon: their wives have aging parents and they want to help out with the family business or farm, but mostly they want to be close to their family.

Japanese daughters are all expected to live close to home. While many young Japanese women have chosen to embark on careers, and even work abroad, they still make the customary trip back home as often as they can. A lot even take care of their parents indirectly, as can be seen in this article.

There is a Japanese saying that goes like this, good daughters should live close enough that when they take a bowl of miso soup to their parents, it should still be warm. It got me thinking about all the Japanese girls I know. While still single, they still generally live with their parents. The only real move they make is from their parents’ home to their shared home with their husbands. It’s a general viewpoint in a lot of Asian countries, too, I heard.

I really think Japan has done well to keep their traditions intact. But when I come across articles like this one about adult children sponging off of their parents, I often wonder if maybe sometimes it’s a little too much…

Earth Lover by Default

The last time I checked, I was very green. By green, I mean earth-friendly; mostly because of the rules and stuff I have to follow because I live in Japan.

My carbon footprint, according to this calculator, is small. My trips home and occasional travels are the only factors that show a significant increase in my score. Even in other tests, I usually answer positively, making me somewhat closer to being an eco-person. Here are some reasons I think I am friends with the environment:

  1. I recycle. If I don’t, I’ll get my trash back with a note asking me to do so and probably get a reputation as a non-recycling nuisance to the neighborhood.
  2. I walk and cycle. And I take the train. Since I have little choice, and no real need for an automobile, I get around by the healthiest possible way.
  3. I live in a floorspace less than 200 square meters. Property prices are quite high here, so even if I wanted a larger home, there’s just no real way. I don’t have a yard or garden, either. I’ve also learned how to effectively maximize space.
  4. I do “coolbiz”, which is to wear light, summer clothing. The Japanese government and a lot of Japanese companies have been adopting this program, where they do away with coats and neckties, so they can keep the air-conditioners at about 28 degrees Celsius the whole day.
  5. I carry my own water bottle, or my own thermal cup. Vending machine drinks are expensive if you buy more than a couple a day, so I take around my own bottle. I heard pet bottles aren’t recycled in Japan, so in a way, I’m really helping the ozone layer. I also bring my own chopsticks.

A lot of my green practices are sort of enforced by the society. It would be hard to do it by myself if I had to. I love the Earth and all but I have to applaud people who responsibly do their role to save the Earth. They are real heroes.

Sendai Tanabata

A few years back, I went on a trip to Sendai for the Tanabata Festival. At that time, I was only interested because of the colorful decorations that I heard were so famous. I badgered a Japanese friend to accompany me, and she was so nice she’d even explained everything I thought there was to know about the festival.

The Legend of Tanabata goes something like this…

Ages ago, in the time of the gods and stars and space, there lived the Sky god. He was called Tenkou. Tenkou had a knock-out of a daughter, named Orihime. Orihime was a career weaver. Her line was goddess kimonos. She was too much into her fashion that her dad soon worried about her. So he fixed her up with this guy, Hikoboshi, who lived on the other side of the Amanogawa. Hikoboshi was a workaholic cattle herder himself, and Tenkou thought they’d totally hit it off. And they did.

Orihime and Hikoboshi fell in love and spent each waking hour together. Orihime forgot about her weaving and Hikoboshi let the cows wander. This angered Tenkou so he banished Hikoboshi and forbade the couple from ever meeting again. Orihime went into deep depression and cried all day and all night. Her dad again got all worried and said yeah, maybe they could again see each other. But this time there was a condition: they could only meet on the 7th day of the 7th month of each year.

The thing was, the Amanogawa was difficult to cross, and the only way they could was if magpies helped them cross it. Magpies don’t come out though if it rains. So many Japanese people hope that it doesn’t rain on Tanabata night, else, the star lovers don’t meet again for a whole year.

Since being to Sendai, I’ve been religiously wishing for the rains to stop on Tanabata night. The stars Orihime (Vega) and Hikoboshi (Altair) just have to meet, they just have to. So join me in wishing the skies will be clear tomorrow night…

A Comeback

What I’d planned originally as a short leave of absence from blogging turned into a blogging sabbatical. It feels like I haven’t blogged in years, but in reality it has only been nine weeks.

I’ve had to contend with new job responsibilities, mostly involving a new job site, a change of address and a relatively new change of perspective, mostly with regards to repositioning myself into Japanese society. Not exactly a revival, as I’m still set to move this blog to its own domain, but for the meantime… Japan Q&A wants to make a comeback.

Golden Week

Azaleas at dusk

The next week is going to be quite busy (as the past two have been…), so I’m afraid my non-writing streak will continue for a while longer. I apologize, but it is the Golden Week and I hope at the end of it I will be equipped with stories to share and pictures to show.

While there are no particular events or festivals to witness this holiday season, there are tons of places to visit, and things to do in and around Japan. Hiking season is again on and there are flower parks in full bloom. Check out the temples or parks with Wisterias, Peonies, Azaleas and Roses.  I wish everyone a very happy Golden Week!